I WAS ALWAYS AFRAID OF PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE, BUT AFTER ONE WEEK OF POSTING EVERYTHING I FOUND A COMMUNITY.
By Casey Coulter
As I lay in bed at night scrolling through Facebook, I saw what my friends were eating for dinner. I caught up on all the drama. I found out who they were planning to vote for and why. I found out who got engaged and who was having a kid. I knew all this without even having a conversation with any of them.
It was Facebook that informed my family that my uncle, my mom’s brother, had died. My sister texted me asking me about it because she had seen her three cousins type his obituary on their profiles. One of them had put up an angry post on how no one had bothered to call to share the news with him. “it pretty bad that u have to find out a week later that ur uncle die. Even though my dad family dont talk to us they should still tell them an another thing that make me mad is that it my dad brother an they dnt even put my dad name in the write up for the siblings of his own brother…” he wrote, in his typical ungrammatical Facebook slang. Until then, I hadn’t heard anything at all.
But I’m not really that into social media. My Facebook page is largely empty. I’m tagged in a few photos and articles. There isn’t much between my annual “happy birthday” messages. I have just a few photos added to my albums. I’d say my Facebook habits are largely a product of my mom, who has always warned again posting too much about my personal life. “You can never erase what you post” is her famous line.
But I wondered whether I was missing something. Yes, I’d protected myself by keeping so much a secret from my online “friends.” But people kept telling me how important Facebook was to them, how it gave them a sense of community. So after years of my self-imposed ban, I decided to break my silence and see if there was anything to gain. Maybe I’d find community online. Or maybe I could become braver about sharing my ideas.
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“Super excited to be going to Australia for winter break!! Can’t wait to ring in the new year with Georgie Hunt in Sydney!”, I wrote on September 27. I had applied to the study abroad program over winter break back in August. I was excited to be able to check another continent off my bucket list. All of my family members liked it, and even some of my closer friends. My Aunt Char commented, “So glad to hear the great news! Can’t wait to see you at the wedding.” The wedding she was referring to would happen in October; my cousin was marrying her boyfriend of 6 years. This started a series of comments between my family members about the wedding and how lucky I was to be traveling.
After this first post and string of comments, I began to see how easy it is to stay in touch even over Facebook. My next post was a bit of a rant. After a long day at work all I wanted to do was come home and take a nice hot shower. Not very much to ask for. But, of course there was a leak in my bathroom right over the shower. So, I put in a work order, and the maintenance worker showed up rather quickly. Good news, or so I thought. Three hours later, he told me my whole shower needed to be retiled. I wouldn’t be able to shower for three days.
My rant got all types of attention. My mom was extremely concerned. She commented and called me less than five minutes later. I had friends that I hadn’t spoken to in years react with the angry and sad faces. My roommate even shared my post, which got even more comments and likes. Having so many people react and comment did give me the sense of community I was seeking from my social media presence. It was nice to have a large group of people, many of whom I hadn’t seen in person in years, validating my feelings. They gave me the confidence to continue posting.
The next day one of my friends from Australia, Georgie, posted a picture of us from over the summer. I decided to reciprocate and post one that I had. It reminded me of the happy time I’d had with my family five friends over the summer. We were all sitting along the dock overlooking the water. “Missing the warm weather, blonde hair, and amazing mates,” I wrote. I tagged everyone in the photo, and they all responded. “Can’t believe how quick the summer went. Miss you all loads! Xx” was Georgie’s comment. The comments continued to pour in as my friends from different time zones saw my post.
After this post, the flood gates opened. I began to comment on other friends’ posts more. I even began to tag people in videos or articles that I thought they would find funny or interesting. I received more messages and was able to catch up with friends I hadn’t spoken to since graduating high school. I began to see that a willingness to be more outgoing online did help to build my bonds with people. Of course, it was still important to consider what I posted carefully. But overall, my Facebook experienced helped me realize how much people truly do care for me. It gave me a chance to know that my opinions are valid.
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I couldn’t believe how much my little Facebook experiment changed me. Suddenly, I didn’t want to just limit myself to the social media I was already on. I even started thinking about creating a personal blog, so I could post even more
After my experiment I talked to my mother about it. I asked her why she was so cautious when it came to posting on social media. Her response was rather simple, “I didn’t grow up with it. I have no idea how to use it, and it’s rather scary to know that people can know so much about you without ever having met you.”
In a sense she’s right. I’m thankful that she made sure I was never posting anything inappropriate, and that she taught me how to be cautious. According to Drew Hendricks, from socialnomics.net, 81 percent of internet-initiated crime involves a social network site. While there are plenty of scary facts like this, it’s not all bad. Social media has helped to solve 98.5 percent of AMBER alerts since 2005.
Some use social media for bad, while others use it for good. It’s all based on how you approach the opportunity.