Overcoming my blushing, one step at a time!
By: Arlene Santiago
“Attention class! Don’t forget you have a presentation coming up next week!”
Presentation, presen-tation, pre-sen-ta-tion…The word starts not making sense in my head, but it still lingers in my mind. The red-ness monster, the chronic blushing, will soon take over my body and I have no choice but to let it.
The day approaches, my mind begins to not focus on the project itself, but what my classmates will think of me as I turned red. I walk towards the front of the classroom, hoping my professor will allow me to turn the lights off.
“Professor? Should I turn off the lights?”
“Sure, go ahead!”
I walk over to turn the lights off, giving me a bit more time to prepare myself for what is about to happen. I get to the light switch, take a deep breath, in and out, flicking the switch down. All eyes are now on me, my heart starts pounding out of my chest. I can’t help but to start moving my hair to cover my chest and part of my face, gripping onto the sleeves of my green shirt. (I read somewhere that green helps hide the blushing, though it probably actually highlights it more.) I can feel the sweat between the creases of my hands. Heat starts rising from my arms to my face.
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I’ve always wonder why I blush so much when I’m nervous. After every presentation, I look at my classmates faces to see if they get red like me, but none as much as mine does. The thought of something must be wrong with me begins to pop into my head, and next thing you know I am on Google trying to get some good advice. But the information there tends to be useless to. There are generic suggestions such as “Try thinking about people in their underwear. It will get your mind off your blushing,” “try wearing a green shirt or green make up,”and even a simple “breath in and out before presenting.”
In my case, and many like me, blushing becomes tormenting and almost unbearable to live with. This type of blushing is known as pathological blushing. Many people around me might not think that my simple blushing could have major effects on me, but I can already see how it has changed me socially. When I was younger, I was a “mama’s girl” because I was always too shy to speak to anyone because of my blushing. As I have gotten older, I hide, maybe not behind my mother, but whomever is by my side, whether it’d be my sisters, friends or fiancé. My family members blush too, but they don’t let it phase them the way I do. So I decided, after years of suffering, to see if there’s a way to put an end to it.
* * *
Many people affected by pathological blushing have Social Anxiety Disorder. Studies have shown that it is not SAD which causes blushing, but that blushing has caused people to have social anxiety. This is because people who have this problem have become too worried about what others think of them. As Enrique Jadresic, some description of who he is, discussed in his book, When Blushing Hurts…, it becomes a “fight or flight” reaction. When we become nervous or uncomfortable our minds begin taking control, making us more nervous, which will cause our bodies to blush in overdrive.
It has become clear that pathological blushing does indeed have a psychological effect on a person. Part of the size of that effect depends on the person’s level of blushing. Naturally, it’s more extreme cases of blushing, like mine, that cause social anxiety. But even for those who have serious blushing, the ones who are able to overcome any social anxiety they may experience from it tend to be better at forgetting about the redness monster rushing through their body.
Jadresic states in his book that some cases are so extreme that they turn to drugs for their anxiety. Drugs such as paroxetine, sertraline, fluoxetine, citalopram, escitalopram, and fluvoxamine can help relax the body and keep SAD at bay. The only problem is that people become too reliant on drugs and become addicted. This is also, sadly, not a solution for blushing, but will only calm the nerves once the redness starts to hit. In my cases, once the nerves are calm, and blushing is not longer a concern, people no longer blush. A more extreme option is surgery that cuts the nerves that cause the blood vessels within the face to dilate. This procedure is not guaranteed to work, and there are some complications that could happen after. It was surprising to learn that some people go to such extreme lengths.
I didn’t want to turn to pharmaceuticals though. I wanted to deal with my issue naturally. So I looked elsewhere for answers about how to solve it. I came across Susan M. Bögels’ and Marisol Voncken’s article, “Social Skills Training Versus Cognitive Therapy for Social Anxiety Disorder Characterized by Fear of Blushing.” In it, they mentioned that people with a fear of blushing tend to fear rejection when others notice their bodily symptom. I thought about that for a second. I don’t remember in recent memory being rejected for my blushing. So I’m not sure why I’m fearful of that.
So, what is wrong with me and the others who also have chronic blushing? The truth is that nothing is wrong with us. People like us think with our minds a little too much, which affect our bodies. Some of us start off with or end up getting Social Anxiety Disorder, but there are multiple ways to get help for it. Ultimately, the solution is to learn to feel less ashamed by the blushing.
I need to change the script I play in my head. I believe that blushing is normal and that I am not the only one whom it affects. I may mention to everyone around me how much I hate it and how much it ruins my life, but I know it makes me stronger than those who don’t have to deal with it. Daily, I must push myself out from behind my friends and family and speak for myself. On those days, it feels good to be able to get out of my comfort zone with no help from those who I’ve always asked for help from. There’s no doubt in my mind that I will still try to wear my green shirt, or to picture everyone in their underwear to dim my blushing. Because why not get a slight laugh out of a stressful situation?
* * *
Here we go again, I think to myself as I go up to set up my Power Point before my class starts.
I am once again stuck at the crossroads of whether I should be embarrassed about my blushing, or if I should play it out.
“Arlene, we’ll start with your presentation first,” my Professor announces.
I walk up to the computer, completely not bothered that the lights would be kept on. All eyes are on me as my mouth opens, “Hello, so today my presentation will be on Buzzfeed.” I feel the heat rush throughout my body, reaching my face as I begin to stutter. A hand rises as a slight conversation starts between my classmates and I during my presentation.
* * *
I never realized that including my classmates could really help ease my mind. In that moment, I learned that blushing is one of my quirks and that no matter what I try to do it will always be a quirk of mine. Now I know that it’s time for me to embrace that.
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