Growing up, having a step-parent might seem scary. I promise it isn’t as scary as it comes to be.
I had to grow up with the idea of having more than two parents.
Honesty means that I can't say I enjoyed it. I felt a lot of pressure from the thought of having to live almost these two lives. I've never experienced what it's like to have only two parents; you can see it in movies and observe all your friends who are only raised by their parents. It was challenging for me to accept the concept of my mother being with someone. What if he were cruel? What if I didn't like him? This prospect of my mum finding love again was permanently blocked in my mind by all these ideas and emotions. All I wanted was for her to adore me.
When she told me she was introducing me to my stepdad, my mom said I was nervous but going with the flow. I mean, when you are so young, you do what your mom says. My stepdad also has two other kids, and they made this transition much more manageable. My parents say I took in my stepdad well because I got siblings to play with. My mom and him made sure we would be a well-blended family, which we are. I remember when we would all be together on the weekends they visited. Going to zoos and being chased by an ostrich, getting all cozy up around the bonfire, even the day we got a four-wheeler, and not even 30 minutes of having it, we kids crashed it. It's crazy how your life can change so much in such a time.
Having a stepfamily offers extra stability and nurturing, among other benefits. There are issues as well, but they can be resolved with time and lots of communication. Most kids and teens who join a stepfamily grow to love it.
What I appreciated about my stepfather was that he could see my struggles going between two homes. My parents’ guilt somehow prevented them from seeing how hard it was for me. But because of his unique viewpoint, I could talk to him about it more openly. He made sure to be there for me when I would cry about how miserable I was to leave.
I feel as if many kids don’t know how to accept their love for a step-parent. They always feel as if they are a placeholder. However, I felt like my stepdad was more than just a “step-parent”; he did more than any father would do for a child. That's what makes my love for him even more impactful. He is often the one I go to for difficult times.