Ned Fulmer branded himself as a “wife guy” He got caught cheating, so what can we learn from him?
When watching videos on the Try Guys channel viewers were welcomed into a world of laughter and kindness. Bright colorful backgrounds would light light up the sets and these four men made it their mission to make their audience laugh. Keith Habersburger, Eugene Lee Yang, Zach Kornfeld, and Ned Fulmer were the internet’s nice guys and their videos reflected this. Instead of aggressive and rude f**k boys these men were cheerful, welcoming, and seemed genuinely focused on spreading joy. But when one of the internet’s nice guys fails what are we suppose to do?
On September 27th we were gifted with the scandal that broke the internet. Ned Fulmer, the former “wife guy” of the Try Guys YouTube company, “lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship.” Yes, readers, another one of the internet’s dream husbands failed us, and everything was terrible. There were so many articles breaking down this extramarital affair, like an absurd amount. But what drove a doting husband to try cheating wasn’t my question. More like, why does everyone care so much about a guy they’ve seen on the internet a couple of times?
“why does everyone care so much about a guy they’ve seen on the internet a couple of times? ”
Before the scandal, the Try Guys were on the radar of mostly their YouTube subscribers. Buzzfeed created the Try Guys in 2014, and their introduction to the internet was "Guys Try Ladies’ Underwear for the First Time.” Yeah, this fantastic foursome’s first video ever was them describing how women’s underwear fit them and how they felt (spoiler alert the panties didn’t fit right). Buzzfeed somehow hit the jackpot, and the Try Guys became one of their most popular groups, and since 2014 they have produced 603 videos. The group split with BuzzFeed in 2018 and created the independent company Second Try LLC.
I will admit I was one of these eager viewers, something about the group was very likable, and they seemed less like untouchable influencers and more like real people. The original videos of the quartet tended to be focused on quick laughs and less serious topics. Videos like The Try Guys Try The Ancient Olympics,The Try The Japanese Tablecloth Trick, and The Try Guys Try Perverted Hallowen Costumes introduced the group to millions of adoring fans who loved the jokes and chemistry of the guys. As they grew and continued to create content they began to mix in more serious content including multiple mini-series spanning from fatherhood to educating their subscribers on the dangers of drunk, high, and distracted driving. However, the group always came back to their comedy roots.
Each member had their own “brand.”
Keith was the tall, funny guy who loved fried chicken; Eugene was the most fashionable, and he loved his dogs more than other people; Zach loved his tea and openly discussed his autoimmune disorder. Then there was Ned; he was the man who loved his wife above anything else. These personas were safe and non-threatening, and I think that's where the appeal came in; having four men consistently act like real humans and not stereotypical manly men on the internet was new and refreshing.
The group worked to create a positive and inclusive channel that has worked with the Trevor Project and other philanthropic organizations. They seemed like the nicest people on the internet, and Fulmer was perhaps the most likable of them all. It was almost like, how had something not gone wrong on their channel yet? They’d set themselves up for a massive implosion.
The term “wife guy” was coined in 2019; basically, a wife guy is a husband who has created his whole internet persona by praising the fact that he is married to his wife. In almost all the content a wife guy produces, his wife is somehow mentioned or involved. Amanda Hess said it best in her 2019 New York Times article: “The wife guy defines himself through a kind of overreaction to being married. His wife hurt herself, and he filmed it. He is sexually attracted to his wife, and he talks about it as if he were some kind of hero.” Wife guys supposedly fight against the current stereotypes of a cisgender straight husband and promote non-toxic masculinity. Being labeled a wife guy is a label that these men are meant to wear with pride. Instead of the typical unsatisfactory marriage, wife guys have perfect lives and marriages, and this is all due to their amazing and fantastical wife.
“ The wife guy defines himself through a kind of overreaction to being married. His wife hurt herself, and he filmed it. He is sexually attracted to his wife, and he talks about it as if he were some kind of hero.”
Fulmer’s branding of the “wife guy” was advantageous while he was a member of the Try Guys. He was able to market his relationship. Through this, he started a company, hosted two different podcasts, created a cookbook, and even made a toy that quoted him saying, “my wife.” His wife, Ariel Fulmer, became a consistent (and popular) guest on the Try Guys channel participating in series like “Try Wives Wine Time” and the podcast “You Can Sit with Us.” Through the wife guy branding, the Fulmers enjoyed their rising popularity, and Ariel seemed to be content in her role as “the wife of the wife guy.” But if the wife guy cheats, then what does that mean about him? Let’s face it, making your entire persona and your definition of goodness be about one thing is bound to backfire.
Ned’s decision to have an affair
will have long-lasting effects on his career and, unavoidably, his wife’s career. Branding yourself as the doting husband won’t work if you are cheating on the amazing wife. He has played this role for nearly nine years and since he is a minor celebrity it is going to be near impossible to rebrand. There are toys, shirts, books, and posters that are all related to his persona and this is going to follow him. No matter what Fulmer does he is always going to be the wife guy who cheated. When the scandal broke the court of public opinion was quick to cast judgment on Fulmer, but the bigger question was what this meant for the entire group of Nice Guys he’d gone into business with.
Cheating scandals, be it with co-workers or friends, are not new in the celebrity world, but the actions of the remaining Try Guys speak volumes. When Yang, Kornfeld, and Habersberger were informed of the affair during Labor Day weekend, they did not cover up the affair to save face; instead, they took direct action and hired an outside human resources consultant to conduct an internal review of the company. They did not release their statement until the review was completed, and in that statement, they made it clear that Fulmer was no longer associated with Second Try LLC. On Oct. 3, five days after their initial statement Yang, Kornfeld, and Habersberger released a video titled “what happened.”
Within the five-minute video, the trio broke down the timeline of their discovery of the affair and then their response as Yang stated, “from the jump, we were acutely aware of just how contrary this was to the values of the company and those of everyone who works here. This is something we took very seriously. We refused to sweep things under the rug. That is not who we are and is not what we stand for.” Fulmer was scrubbed from content and removed from work activities during the investigation. The trio also stated that they have several videos that will no longer be released because of Fulmer’s involvement in them.
Kornfeld explained that this was “a decision that has cost us lots of money. We will not be able to recoup that money, but it is a decision we stand by proudly.” They continued to explain that they were not planning on making their statement video this early, but because of the media response and growing rumors, they knew something needed to be said. Yang also made a statement in response to the harassment that their employee was receiving, stating that “the internet has a tendency to be a lot harsher towards women than men.” and asking everyone to “exercise kindness.”
Their response did gain the attention of Saturday Night Live, which made a parody sketch of their video. At first, it seemed that the sketch was going to make jokes about the media attention that the Try Guys received. But viewers quickly realized the remaining trio was meant to be the joke. For a show that trends liberal and on the right side of #MeToo, the writers of SNL completely missed the mark with this sketch with the show, downplaying the almost year-long affair and calling it a “consensual kiss” (Fun fact Fulmer allegedly knows an SNL writer). In the context of SNL, Fulmer’s affair would be like if Lorne Michaels had an affair with a subordinate writer on the show. Would it still be a consensual kiss?
Since the scandal broke, the channel has grown. Today the group has over 8 million subscribers to the channel, so as they enter this new era of their channel, the group has lost a member but gained popularity. While the group isn’t talking about the affair (because of the legal stuff), they are not hiding from the scandal. On Nov. 19, they released the newest season of their show Without A Recipe with the added subtitle Everything is fine: A Totally Normal Season. Kudos to the editors because this is one of the series that Fulmer had to be scrubbed from currently; they have replaced him with a pink elephant, a monkey, and now a turkey during the most recent episode (I’m hoping for a clownfish next).
Clearly, the group is moving on, but it has been radio silence from both Ariel and Ned since the affair was made public. On the surface, the relationship between them seemed literally picture-perfect. They were the original married couple of the Try Guys, and eight years down the road, they had two adorable boys, 4 and 2. The frustrating reality of this story is that there is a family at the center of it. Ariel and her sons are forever entangled in this mess because, unlike the company, they can not just wash their hands and move on.
What nobody has reported, perhaps to give her privacy, is what it’s been like for her. We all know what people think of the wife guy who cheats. But what do we think of the wife of the wife guy?
But what do we think of the wife of the wife guy?
Ariel Fulmer is kinda stuck. When she married Ned in 2012 the Try Guys did not exist but as the group and her husband gained popularity she also became famous. She became famous as “the wife”. Because of the persona Ned created Ariel in many ways was turned into a one-dimensional character where her importance came from being married to Fulmer. After the Try Guys split from Buzzfeed Ariel began to make more appearances in videos but even as she was beginning to make separate content from Ned her selling point was still being the wife or after having children “the mother”.
Now she is forced to navigate the heartbreak and betrayal of Ned’s affair with the world watching. There is no way Ariel can fully disentangle herself from the mess Fulmer created. The sad reality is that Ariel is stuck in a no-win situation. If she decides to divorce Fulmer she would become the “ex-wife of the wife guy” but if she stays she is now the woman who forgave her cheating spouse. No matter what decision she makes people will share their opinions. Along with this she also has to think about her children because any decisions she and Fulmer make will effect them. When Fulmer decided to cheat did he honestly think there wouldn’t be far reaching consequences for his actions?
Cheating scandals in the celebrity world are nothing new. But usually, the cheater sends out an apology message or video or goes on a world tour, and then everyone forgives and forgets about it. The Fulmer scandal broke directly after the world processed the mess of Adam Levin. The Maroon Five singer was known for heaping praise on his model wife, going as far as to feature her and their daughter in his “Girls Like You” music video. In a shocking turn of events Levine had his direct messages with Instagram model Sumner Stroh released. The two did not have a physical relationship; instead Levine stated that he had an “emotional affair” with Stroh.
Levine was caught, apologized, and now is going on tour with his band. There was no lasting consequence to his affair. What has made the Fulmer cheating scandal so interesting is that Fulmer has faced significant and justified consequences for his actions. Fulmer was an executive producer and co-owner of the Try Guys company, and he had an affair with a subordinate co-worker. While the affair was consensual, there was still a huge power dynamic at play. Fulmer controlled this person’s income, and other co-workers could claim favoritism because of the affair.
The company Fulmer created had values, and instead of “sweeping things under the rug,” his former co-owners and friends held him accountable. In their podcast, Habersberger stated that the consequences would have remained even if the internet didn’t catch on to the scandal “It betrayed our trust. It was a workplace violation. It would mean to all the people in our office who knew what they knew that we were not true to everything we say we are and our values. Very simply, he would have been removed.”
It would not have been this public spectacle without that response.
But I’m still stuck: are they actually nice guys, or are they saving their public face? At the end of the day, the scandal benefitted them.
Unlike Ariel and her family they have been able to extract themselves from the fallout and look better for it. And maybe that’s the final nail in the coffin for the wife guy. For the audience, we’re so used to him failing us that we’re reluctant to trust ever again. We’re all a little more cynical.